n.b. i'm tired, emotional, and nostalgic. i'm about to make a big trip and i just cleared out my childhood bedroom which means this will probably get overly sentimental. so feel free to skim or skip if feelings make you awkward.
it's finally here; i leave tomorrow. i'm nervous, i'm excited, i'm scared, i'm curious, i'm all of those feelings that put living on some heightened level.
i'm going into this somewhat blind. i have a flight, i have a visa, i have an apartment (of some kind) which will (hopefully) be ready when i arrive, and beyond that i have a lot of mystery.
dealing with french bureaucracy has been an exercise in patience and waiting. getting specific information from the french over e-mail, during the summer holidays was more or less impossible. but it's refreshing to see how the french respect their time off as time off. no checking their e-mail, much less responding promptly.
so as much as i wanted to be able to plan and anticipate and imagine, it was good for me to have to deal with not knowing, be grateful and excited for each little piece of information, and trust that everything is going to fall in place just as it should be.
i can't even say how lucky i am to have the people in my life that i do. from well wishes, to helping me pack, to an american-themed going away party fully outfitted with flags, liberty bells, and fireworks, i have felt so much love from my friends and my family these past few weeks.
it creates the bittersweet situation where this exciting step is made hard by having to leave so much behind, and this scary step is made easy by having such support and faith behind me.
that wasn't too gushy. right?
I am so excited to read about your adventures, but sad not to be partaking in them with you. Have a safe trip, and send me your address, so one day, when you least expect it, I will show up at your front door, bearing a sleeping bag (for me) and American Cheese/an American flag (for you). xxMFJ
ReplyDelete